智丽的共享空间

And I am no longer with you
Let no tears fall or sorrow prevail
When you see your reflection shimmer in the water
Smile and know that I see your smile
When you feel the cool grass beneath your feet
And the sun’s warmth upon your back
Know that I feel it also
When you hear the leaves rustling in the wind
Know it is my voice softly whispering to you
When you see a butterfly dancing among flowers
Know that I am dancing also
When you gently touch a puppy’s soft fur
Know that I too feel your touch
When the wind swirls across your skin
Know that it is I who caresses you
When you love another
Know that I too feel your love

 

    是选择事业，还是选择爱情，这是极其私人的问题。当然影响你决定的因素有很多，而且许多人都已成功地在两者之间找到一个很好的平衡点，尽享鱼和熊掌兼得之乐。

      事业和爱情能给我们带来满足感，虽然不同但都非常重要。成功的事业，除了能让我们衣食无忧外，还能给我们以成就感，实现自己的人生价值。许多人都是借助于事业来实现自己的人生价值，因而在他们的生活中，事业的重要性就不言而喻了。

      还有一些人，则以是否有幸福的家庭生活来衡量自己是否成功。相应地，他们就以有孩子为傲，并通过伴侣的关爱和支来持确定自己的价值。
  
      那么，当你无法或不希望在自己的生命中同时承受爱情和事业，一切又会怎样呢？尽管说那些最幸福、最健康的人能够两头兼顾，但并非所有人都可以做到这一点。当你思考哪一个对你更重要的时候，考虑下下面所提到的一些因素吧。

1.   年轻的时候，事业更重要

      如今许多人都是先立业后成家。原因就在于，年轻力壮，毫无羁绊牵挂时，你可以把自己所有的时间和精力都投入到工作中。所以，年轻时，要是有雄心壮志，说不定真是你一展宏图之时。
  
      如今许多人都是先立业后成家。原因就在于，年轻力壮，毫无羁绊牵挂时，你可以把自己所有的时间和精力都投入到工作中。所以，年轻时，要是有雄心壮志，说不定真是你一展宏图之时。

      许多人都是趁年轻，先在事业上有所作为，等自己的工作比较稳定后，他们才更愿意，也觉得更能够把精力花在家事上。因为等到人安定下来以后，才能更好地担负起责任。

2.   成熟些再恋爱更好
  
      一讲到成家的事，如今越来越多的人都选择等待。现在就算30好几甚至40出头才结婚，也没什么奇怪的。晚婚的话可以让你为担起家庭的义务做好准备，也更有可能让你实现自己最重要的目标和人生价值。这样你就有机会完全成长，不至于老觉得自己错过了什么。而且你还能因此甩去青春的无知，展示成熟的自信和睿智。

3.   要是你能成功地找到两者之间的平衡点，既能享受爱情的甜蜜，又能做到事业有成，那么你的人生将真正的幸福充实。相亲相爱的家人，不仅能和你分享成功的喜悦，还能在你失败时候，帮你恢复信心。许多人都找到了这样一个平衡点，尽享爱情事业双丰收的美好人生。

      要是一个人只有事业，或则只有妨碍自己发展的美好爱情，那样的人生都算不上是健康或则说是成功的。我们个人的需要和自我价值感当然要得以满足，而且常常都是通过一份好的工作来实现的。但同时我们的身心也需要呵护，漫漫人生需要有人陪伴和支持，而这又是通过爱情来获得的。

      真正健康，均衡发展的人能够同时看到两者的好处。他们会尽自己最大的努力达到工作和家庭的平衡，因为这一平衡对事业的发展和保持良好的人际关系都很重要。只有当我们达到了这一微妙的平衡点，我们的生活才是最完整，最幸福充实的。

The choice between having a career or making time for love is an extremely personal and individual decision. There are many factors which can affect your choice, and there are many people who have discovered how to achieve a healthy work life balance that allows them to have both. 

Careers and love fulfill us in different but important ways. Having a solid career gives us a sense of accomplishment and self worth, aside from the practicalities of paying the bills. Many people develop their entire identity based upon what they do, elevating their career to a level of great importance in their lives.

Then there are those who measure their success in terms of having a pleasant and rewarding Home life. They develop their identities based upon the accomplishments of their children, and derive their self worth through the love and support of a spouse.

So what happens if you cannot or do not wish to make room in your life for both? While the happiest and healthiest people have managed to develop a work life balance that allows for both, it may not be for everyone. Consider these factors when pondering which is more important for you.

1. Your career May be More Important When You are Young

Many people these days focus on careers first and family later. The reasoning is that, while you are young and unencumbered, you have the time and energy to fully devote yourself to a career. If you have lofty career ambitions while you are young, it may indeed be the time to start making progress towards those goals.

Once you get married and begin to build a family, much of your time and energy ? by necessity ? becomes devoted to your family. This is as it should be. You should not start a family unless you are willing to devote time and attention to your loved ones.

Many people who accomplish great success in their careers when they are young, and establish themselves in a secure position, are then more willing and comfortable later on to devote themselves to family. By the time they do settle down, they are more prepared to handle the responsibility.

2. Falling in Love can be Better When You are Older

More and more people these days are choosing to wait when it comes to making decisions about family. It is not unusual for people to delay marriage until their late 30's or even their early 40's. Delaying family decisions allows you to be better prepared for those obligations, and creates a better likelihood that you are in touch with your most important goals and values. You have had the opportunity to completely grow up, greatly reducing the chances of feeling like you are “missing out.” You have had the chance to purge the foolishness of youth from your system and are now confident with the wisdom of maturity.

3. Choosing Both If you can find a work life balance that allows you to experience the joys of love and maintain a successful career, you will have a truly happy and rewarding life. A loving family at Home can help you celebrate all of your successes, and bolster your confidence through your failures. There are many people out there reaping the tremendous rewards that come with including love and work in their lives, and finding the balance that allows for both.

A life that only has room for a career, or that includes a consuming love that stifles your personal development, is likely not a lifestyle that is healthy or fulfilling. Our personal needs and feelings of self worth need to be met, which is normally gained from having a good career. Our hearts and souls need to be nourished, and we need companionship to support us through life, which normally are derived from loving relationships.

The truly healthy and well balanced person will recognize the benefits of having both. He or she will take steps to achieve the work life balance necessary to assure the continuation of career growth while nurturing and maintaining the health of personal relationships. It is only when we can maintain this delicate balance that we are living life to its greatest potential.

      艺术既不能增加你的德行也不会让你变得聪颖，但我却义无反顾地视它们为信仰，把它当作生命的一部分，如同一些人将宗教作为自己生命的部分一样。

      可惜，伟大的艺术有时却被野兽所爱，最恰当的例子非纳粹莫属。杰出的评论家乔治.斯坦纳道出了这个不尽人意的事实：“我们知道这样的人，他会弹奏巴赫和肖邦，也会在每天早上去奥斯维辛开始他的工作。”

      但是这些有教养的死亡营的看守者并未伤害德国的文化。确实，他们彻底消除了那些愚蠢的想法，即认为伟大的艺术是与民族如影随形的。但是当纳粹大屠杀结束的时候，德国的文化却得以幸存。

      从更小一点的层面上说，我们也不能宣称终日沉浸在艺术之中便能创造出一个鲜活的思想。艺术教育同样造就出了一群有学识却令人生厌的人。我认识一个人，他请来当时最好的演奏家日复一日的为他演奏莎士比亚，威尔地，贝多芬及其他大家的作品。但所有这些对他来说都毫无效果。他依旧阴郁，险隘，无可救药地醉心于传统的智慧中。

      对于那些创造艺术的人而言，如果我们认为他们的作品使得他们的私人生活也让人羡慕，那我们就错了。上世纪的著名记者丽贝卡.韦斯评论到，“创造一幅艺术品的力量如同一个绝妙的表情，通常都是无意间进行的。”所以我的信仰，就像基督教一样，并不会允诺我好的德行或更高的智力。

      那么究竟它有什么用处呢？那些将时间与感情投注于艺术之上的人们被给予了更多的机会享受比他人更加丰富更加深刻的人生。他们可以学着与音乐，绘画，书籍这些长存了许多世纪的财富零距离接触。他们可以跨越空间距离，企及各式音乐，影像和他们自己想要谱写的故事。最绝的是，艺术模糊了时间的界限，只有通过艺术作品我们才能一瞥古希腊或中世纪西班牙或现代化之前的日本的样子。

      人类的心灵（按照威廉.詹姆士在《心理学的原则》中的说法）是万象众生的剧场。艺术为那个内在的剧场布局，又为舞台充盈进鲜活而又值得回味的人物角色，那些角色与我们生活中的人物混合在了一起。即使我们是孤独的，我们都在这个不断扩大的社会陪伴之下走完了一生，而其中的艺术家，角色与影像都是由我们自己挑选的。

      艺术同样让我们得以在它们创造的世界里充满想象地生活。它们给予我们另外一种叙述人类的方式，也许这是它们最慷慨的礼物了。纵观历史，艺术从未将蛊惑民心的领导者或士兵描绘为伟大的人物。艺术使得那些精致，充满魅力的传统代

 

The arts won't make you virtuous and they won't make you smart, but they are nevertheless my faith, firmly installed in the part of me where some people put religion.

Great art, alas, has sometimes been loved by monsters, famously the Nazis. George Steiner, the eminent critic, delivers the bad news: "We know that a man can play Bach and Schubert and go to his day's work at Auschwitz in the morning."

But cultured death-camp guards didn't destroy German culture. True, they eliminated any foolish belief that great art comes with ethics attached. But when the Holocaust ended, German culture remained.

On a more trivial level, we also can't claim that immersion in the arts will create a lively mind. Art education has produced armies of learned bores. I knew a man who had Shakespeare, Verdi, Beethoven and the rest of the gang played at him by the greatest performers of his time, night after night for a lifetime. Did no good. He remained gloomy, narrow and hopelessly addicted to conventional wisdom.

As for those who create art, we get it all wrong if we imagine their work makes them admirable in private life. Rebecca West, a great journalist of the last century, remarkedthat "the power to create a work of art, like a good complexion, is frequently bestowed on the undeserving." So my faith, rather like Christianity, comes with no guarantees of virtue or enhanced intelligence.

What, then, does it guarantee? Those who give it their time and love are offered the chance to live more expansive, more enjoyable and deeper lives. They can learn to care intimately about music, painting and books that have lasted for centuries or millennia. They can reach around the globe for the music, the images and the stories they want to make their own. At its best, art dissolves time; only through art can we catch a glimpse of what life was like in ancient Greece or medieval Spain or pre-modern Japan.

The human mind (according to William James, in Principles of Psychology) is "a theatre of simultaneous possibilities." The arts build the sets for that interior theatre and fill the stage with vivid, memorable characters who mingle in memory with the people of our lives. Even if we are otherwise lonely, we go through life in the company of this ever-expanding society of artists, characters and images, each of them chosen by us.

The arts also let us live, imaginatively, within the world where they are produced. They give us an alternative human narrative - and perhaps that's their most generous gift to us. History as seen through the arts doesn't portray demagogues and soldiers as the greatest figures. It's a history where delicate, fascinating traditions are handed down the generations, developed, subverted, forgotten and rediscovered, all within a drama that makes reality created by politicians seem pale and predictable.

Art gives us, as well, the opportunity to look at everything around us in a slightly different light. It changes our perspective. As Schopenhauer says, "The artist lets us peer into the world through his eyes." The eyes of the best artists see wonderful surprises.